Why do I need help?
The mental load that people carry every day is immense. The pressure is on to remember appointments, birthdays, kids' sports, dress-up days, homework, bills, car services, groceries, housework...the list is endless and that’s before we’ve even mentioned work that happens outside of the home. Now add in a child or children who have additional needs, that in itself can be a full-time job. Challenging behaviours, health issues, therapy appointments and interventions and around and around we go.
Parents and carers take on levels of stress that would be untenable in a conventional job. We are specialists in plate spinning, juggling, negotiating and planning. We put the needs of others at the forefront of our minds, we do our best to make sure everyone has everything they need for now while we anticipate what’s coming next. It’s exhausting! Our cortisol levels sit higher than the general population as shown in a recent study. Parents and carers of children diagnosed with ASD were found to have higher cortisol levels for longer and poor metabolic functioning. When I think about this for myself, I can clearly see that I often feel stressed and I often remedy this with Cadbury Creme Eggs
We are all familiar with the collateral damage that unfortunately often accompanies these issues. Our relationships suffer, whether it’s a marriage, a friendship, other children or even within our neighbourhoods. I’m often running on empty, sometimes I have nothing left to give to anyone else because all of my effort, patience, love and care goes to my children. So who cares for the carers?
One place to start is Carers QLD. They offer respite for carers delivered in a range of ways - follow the link for more information - if you are a carer this service is for you https://carersqld.com.au/understanding-respite-care-fact-sheet/
Another service that may be available to those participating in the NDIS is that of a Support Worker. In my home Support, Workers are invaluable. They have helped our family to slow down and find time to enjoy being together. Sometimes that means I get to go to the shops on my own (I know! What a treat!). Sometimes that means we set out on separate adventures on the weekend, giving everyone the time and environment they need at that moment.
There is no easy solution to the ongoing stress that we live with as parents and carers of children with additional needs, but no one should be expected to carry the load alone. Whether you need in-home help via Sunshine Family Support or if you want to connect with families who share your experience, reaching out is a good place to start.
We have access to some great resources here on the Sunshine Coast:
Our Sensory Space runs various workshops and parent/carer events https://www.facebook.com/oursensoryspace/
The Maleny Sitting Room holds regular events for parents and carers to connect and access information https://www.facebook.com/thesittingroommaleny/
Steps Autism Treehouse can provide links to the community and advice on services https://www.facebook.com/STEPSAutismTreehouse/
Sunshine Family Support can help match a Support Worker to your family https://www.facebook.com/SunshineFamilySupport
Lifeline 13 11 14 https://www.facebook.com/LifelineAustralia/
Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 https://www.facebook.com/beyondblue/
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