
Introducing or altering a routine in your home can be difficult and stressful but long term, having clear routines can help reduce anxiety and stress for the whole family.
Children thrive on routine and tend to learn best from repetition and predictability. Some families may feel too restricted by routine while others find the structure of firm routines to be priceless. Our family fall into the second category. Without predictable and fairly strict routines our family struggles to function, anxiety goes up, meltdowns increase and emotions boil over. Here are 5 steps to building a routine with children:
1) Planning and Identifying Know what you want to achieve and break down the steps one by one. An example might be the “After School Routine”.
a) Bring school bag in from the car
b) Unpack the lunchbox
c) Put school bag on a hook
d) Change into after school clothes
e) Put school clothes in the basket
Whatever the activity is that you are trying to achieve, break it down into simple steps that can be clearly communicated verbally or through pictures.
2) Timers I’ve found timers to be an amazing resource. It’s important to make it clear that there is a timer starting and when the timer is done, the activity is done.
In my home, it works because it isn’t mum saying “that’s the end of this activity” it’s the timer. Low and behold more often than not, my kids will respect the timer. If I try and intervene without a timer there’s a good chance I’ll have a mutiny on my hands.
There are many different types of timers out there. Phone alarms, hourglass timers and lava lamp style timers have all done the trick for me at different stages. Check online for sensory resource providers. I have used https://www.thetherapystore.com.au and https://sensorytools.net without issue.
3) Social Stories and Visual Aids
Creating a social story can be a great way to remind a child of what comes next. Grab a picture of your child taking the steps to complete the task and use these to create a visual schedule.
Follow the link for some ideas on how to create social stories: https://www.andnextcomesl.com/p/printable-social-stories.html
There are also ready-made magnetic “Daily Routines” available which have proven most effective as my child has grown older. She takes a lot of pride in her ability to follow her morning and evening routine, checking off each step and letting me know when it’s complete. It sounds like a fairytale but rests assured it was a slow process with plenty of hiccups along the way.
4) Consistency
Be consistent. OK so that’s sometimes a big ask but in general, it’s important to follow each step of your desired routine as closely as possible. Follow your routine in the same order every day, try to encourage your child as they work their way through, even if it’s taking a long time, even if they try to stray from the steps.
5) Give yourself a break
We all know life happens, other children need attention, parents need to work and we can’t always wait an hour for our child to decide they will put their shoes on. Nobody can follow every step of every routine every time. Don’t give up but also don’t give yourself a hard time if you’re encountering those difficult moments. Remember - everyone gets the hiccups.
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